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# How do I change an athlete's behavior that's hurting the team?
- URL: https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/change-behavior-hurting-team/
- Published: 2026-08-07T03:10:08.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-07T04:44:59.000Z
- Description: Name the behavior exactly, help the athlete see it through a teammate's eyes, ask "Is that who you want to be?", then walk through the change together.
- Author: Bruce Brown
- Tags: qa, Communication

Use Bruce Brown's five-step process from The Power of Your Words. First, call the behavior exactly what it is — attentiveness, lack of effort — never the vague word "attitude," and go directly to the athlete, one-on-one. Second, get them to see the behavior through somebody else's eyes: a teammate, an official, an opponent. Third, ask one simple question: "Is that who you want to be?" No athlete says yes. Fourth, ask, "Can I walk through this change with you?" — then reward small successes and use private cues when the old behavior surfaces. Fifth, give them ownership. Once the change is permanent, the phrase is *"Look who you have become,"* never "look what I did."

## Why won't threats or punishment change an athlete's behavior?

You can force compliance through fear, but it does not last. The goal is getting the athlete to say, "I need to change. I want to change." Bruce Brown teaches that athletes rise to your level of expectations or fall to your level of tolerance — lasting change is a walk alongside, not a head-butting contest.

## What if the athlete denies the behavior exists?

Some athletes have been enabled and excused for years. Bruce Brown's answer is evidence: film practice or pull a game clip, sit down one-on-one, and say, "Watch nothing except your own body language." Then use no-opt-out questions — "Whose problem is this?" and "Is it clear what I'm asking you to do?"

## How long does it take to change an athlete's behavior?

It depends on trust. Bruce Brown says some kids take a month, some take five minutes — the higher the trust in your team culture, the faster the five steps work. If the process stalls, examine trust first, and make the framing clear: "I'm not doing this to you, I'm for you."

The five steps above are the outline — Bruce Brown walks through the full process in [5 Steps to Changing Behavior](https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/5-steps-to-changing-behavior/), part of the library included with [membership — $180/year, 7-day free trial](https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/pricing/).