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# How do I get parents to release their athlete to the program?
- URL: https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/release-your-athlete/
- Published: 2026-08-07T03:09:52.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-07T04:44:46.000Z
- Description: Teach release at the pre-season parent meeting: hand parents their athlete's goals, ask what a successful season looks like, and let the kid's answers lead.
- Author: Bruce Brown
- Tags: qa, Parents & Family

Teach release at your pre-season parent meeting, and let the athletes make the case. Have every athlete write down their individual and team goals, then hand each parent their own child's answers. Ask parents three questions: What are your goals for your athlete? What role do you hope they play? What does a successful season look like? When their answers differ from their kid's, the rule, according to athletes, is: drop yours and accept theirs. Parents release once they know their child is safe emotionally and physically, so put your philosophy, expectations, and contact information in front of them early. Bruce Brown's most successful former athletes consistently credited parents who released them early.

## Why won't parents release their athlete to the team?

Most adults can see solutions in athletic situations, and it is painful to let kids find their own. But the one guarantee of any season is that there will be issues. Athletics is one of the best places for young people to take risks, fail, and solve their own problems. Release tells them: this is your thing.

## What are the red flags that a parent hasn't released their athlete?

Bruce Brown collected these from athletes themselves: sharing the credit when things go well, trying to solve every problem that comes up in a season, coaching a kid who thinks they know more about the game than you do, yelling at officials, building in excuses after games, and kids who avoid their parents after competition.

## What should the pre-season parent meeting cover?

Send families your philosophy, standards, and contact information before you meet. At the meeting, thank parents for sharing their athletes, walk them through the team covenants your players built, and hand out each athlete's written goals. Then define which conversations are appropriate — treatment, improvement, behavior — and which are not: playing time, strategy, other kids.

## When should a parent release their child to a coach?

As early as possible, with one asterisk. Before releasing a son or daughter, parents should know the child is safe emotionally and physically — and not starting does not mean not safe. Once that is settled, the earlier the release comes, the better the experience becomes for the athlete.

That is the what; the how — including Bruce Brown's booklet [The Role of Parents](https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/the-role-of-parents/) and the full Role of Parents video series — lives in the Proactive Coaching library, free for 7 days with a [trial membership ($180/year after)](https://www.proactivecoaching.ai/pricing/).