The Role of Parents

The involvement of parents in the athletic experience of their children is a given. Without question, all parents should be part of this area of their children's growth. Their involvement affects their own child, the coach, the rest of the team, the other parents and the officials. How they choose to be involved is a choice they have. This booklet focuses on the parent's role from the perspective of the athlete. For more than three decades I frequently asked the players on my teams a series of questions about the role of adults in their experience. In this process, I learned many things that helped me as a coach. I also learned many things that young people would like to tell their parents but probably never will. This booklet is a way of giving back to three decades of great young people on my teams.

Coaches frequently ask me how much the kids changed during my coaching career. My response is always the same: "The athletes have changed very little, but the parents have changed dramatically." While some current parental reactions can undoubtedly be traced to either the professional model of sport or the media, most problems with parents and sport are self-generated. As a result, too many households overemphasize sports at the expense of sportsmanship and support. The number of parents who cross the appropriate line of support or encouragement to intolerable interference has increased. In a similar display of misplaced priorities, too many parents seem to be more concerned with attracting the attention of college scouts than just enjoying their child's high school years and letting their child's advancement to college take its own path. With athletes focusing on a single sport year round (many at a very early age), the pressure for success in that sport mounts. Parents are making large financial investments in private tutors, conditioning coaches and doing whatever is necessary to give their kids the opportunity to participate on "select" out-of-season teams to ensure that their kids get as much of an advantage as possible.